Those poor eating habits that I started in college haven't gone away. In fact, they've developed into lifelong poor eating habits. Combine these unhealthy eating habits with a hectic lifestyle of juggling a full-time job with the schedule of three kids, and you have a disaster in the making. Well, my disaster almost became a bomb explosion when I realized how much I weighed. At a recent doctor's visit, I discovered than I was more than 100 pounds overweight (from what my insurance company says I should weigh for my height).
Holy shit, I thought to myself. How the hell did I ever let myself get to this point? Well, let me see. Marriage. Three kids. A full-time job where I sit behind a desk all day long. 'Nuff said.
I'm very fortunate that all the extra pounds that I'm carrying around haven't developed into any serious medical problems. Other than some chronic back and knee pain, I'm blessed to not be burdened with diabetes, high blood pressure, or any other serious ailments. That's now. If I continue at this current weight, I'm sure some of those health problems are right around the corner.
I began thinking back to the last 20 years worth of failed diets: TOPS, Weight Watchers, L.A. Weight Loss, Jenny Craig, Fen-phen, Meridia, Alli, and the list goes on. Over the counter. Prescription. You name it. I'd lose a couple pounds here, and gain a few pounds there. Never any substantial weight loss to motivate me.
The straw that broke this camel's back was earlier this month when I discovered that some of the business suits that I bought for a new job I started in September DIDN'T FIT ME ANYMORE!! That was the last straw. I had decided that I had to do something about my out-of-control weight problem. That was it. I didn't want to be the FAT person anymore. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to be able to wear a nice outfit, and not worry that my fat was hanging out. I wanted to be able to pose in photos with my children - not make sure I was the one holding the camera just so I wouldn't be photographed. I wanted to be able to sleep one full night's sleep without waking up with a sore back. I wanted to be able to walk up a flight of stairs without having chronic knee pain. I wanted to discover me...the real me. I know she's in there somewhere. Somewhere behind all these rolls of flab. Somewhere behind the heavy, baggy sweaters.
So...after years of living with this and not being able to do anything about it, I've come to a life-altering decision. I've decided to have gastric bypass surgery done. Of course, this decision wasn't a sudden one for me. I'm usually a very compulsive person. I get something in my mind, and I just roll with it. Not this time. This is a huge decision and I had to make sure that I knew what I was doing.
I have spent the last few weeks doing my research, talking to co-workers, and reading message boards online of people who have the surgery done. There are many positive aspects to gastric bypass surgery (decreased future health risks, improved appearance and self-confidence, etc.). Of course, there are some negative aspects and considerations (risk of complications, forced changed eating habits, etc.). After weighing out all the considerations, I have decided (with the support of my husband) that this is the route I want to go.
My husband and I visited Barix Clinics (http://www.barixclinics.com/) in Langhorne this week. A co-worker recommended this place to me, as this was where she had her gastric bypass surgery done. What a wonderful and enlightening experience we had. My husband and I spent three hours there - consulting with a surgeon, getting an overview of the surgery, expectations, possible complications, etc. I felt very comfortable, and could actually see myself walking out the door of Barix one day after having the surgery.
After our visit, I told them I needed a little time to think about it. There were many considerations that we had to think about (gastric bypass vs. lap-band, whether insurance would cover this, timing of the surgery, etc.). After talking things through with my husband, I decided that the surgery is the right way to go.
So, I made the call today to Barix to tell them that I have decided to have the gastric bypass surgery. I feel like this was the first step towards the rest of my life. A new life. A life where the real "me" shines.
I started this blog with the hopes that I'll be able to document my progress as I travel this journey into the rest of my life. I hope you'll join me for the ride. It will surely be a roller coaster ride, so make sure you hold on tight!
