The excitement is building. It hasn't even been a week since I made the phone call to start the insurance process for my gastric bypass surgery. I'm in that waiting period where my insurance reviews the claim to make sure that they will cover it. I know it's a long process (hell, it took me a lot of years to get to the size I'm at, so I should be able to wait a few weeks). The doctor's office told me that I should hear back about the insurance approval within about two weeks.
I can't even begin to express the feelings and emotions that are running through me right now. Excitement. Nervousness. Anxiousness. Anxiety. Happiness. Feeling petrified. Feeling depressed. Feeling everything. I wish I could just close my eyes, and wake up in the recovery room. Or better yet, wake up three months after the surgery has been done.
I know the old saying "Good things come to those who wait", but this is awful. After making such a life-altering decision, you almost want instant gratification. I keep telling myself to calm down and be patient, but when there is such an incredible outcome expected at the end of this journey, one can't help but to be a bit impatient.
On another note, I finally told my mother yesterday that I'm hoping to have the gastric bypass surgery done. Honestly, that was the part of this whole process that I feared the most. I could handle the surgery, massive adjustment in eating habits after the surgery, some of the complications I'm expecting from surgery. But, I couldn't handle or didn't know how to tell my mother. My biggest critic in life. I knew once my husband was on board that the next hurdle would be telling my mother.
She handled it unexpectedly good. I was surprised. I heard gripes of "You're crazy!" or "Don't take the easy way out!" in my head before telling her. But, she handled it with an unexpected calmness and expressed the expected parental concerns. I need to sit down and talk with her one-on-one some more about things, but I thing (and hope) that she is on board with my decision. I can't tell you what a relief it is that she didn't rip my head off when I told her.
The next part of the process for me is to get a psych evaluation. This is required by the doctor and probably also of my insurance. I spent an hour on the phone on Friday trying to find a psychologist who would be willing to do a psych evaluation of a pre-surgical gastric bypass patient. The majority of them said that they won't do it unless I join their practice and come to weekly therapy sessions. They won't do the once-and-done type of evaluation.
I did find one psychologist, I think, that will do the evaluation. I have to call back on Monday morning to make the appointment, but I am hopeful! Once that is done, I just wait to hear back from my insurance company on approval. Fingers crossed, after approval I would just schedule the surgery based on my surgeon's availability.
As much as I'd like to wait until July to have the surgery done, I think I might consider April/May if they have any openings. I will probably be home from work for about a week, and I have the sick time to use for that.
Another factor I am dreading in the back of my mind is the expense with buying a new wardrobe of clothing. As the weight starts dropping, I will go through about 10 different sizes before I get to my hopeful final weight. I'm sure I'll rely on some safety pins and old clothing as the journey progresses. No use buying new clothing each step of the way!
Anyway, as you can, I'm both excited and nervous about the whole process. I think the tough part is over -- making the decision. Now, I just sit...wait...and wait some more!
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